Dreams Dreamt Before

Oh, I’ve waken to new sunshine

Of dawns risen o’er the hills.

I’ve swum in quivering rivers,

And climbed in flight as gulls.

I’ve shown bright with each moonlight

And fallen with each star.

I’ve feathered clouds with soft down

And sprinkled rain afar.

I’ve snuggled to a blade of grass

And clutched a rose as dew.

I’ve painted rainbows ‘cross the sky,

And lavished them with hue.

I’ve suckled sweetness from a bloom,

And fluttered, free to soar.

I’ve slept beneath the Tree of Life

And dreamt these dreams before.

©2012 Joann Nelander

Dawn Comes

O see,
Dawn comes
The first rays of Light
Upon the mountain.
How I have waited.
How I have longed.
Having embraced Faith
I possessed Truth,
But it was like the dawn,
Outside myself.
Written, as on tablets,
But, not yet,
Written on my heart.
It’s glory was God"s,
And not my own,
Not of my forging,
Not for me to fashion,
As a graven image,
Or molten calf,,
Arising from the fires
Of my concupiscence,
A counterfeit for Love,
Revealing only the blindness
Fallen on hearts,
Minds, and wills
Apart from Light
Of Dayspring
On Holy Night.

Now come
The long awaited symbolon
To make whole
To heal my soul.

O Holy Night
Putting an end
To lonely darkness
O Holy sight,
I wait
To see aright.

By Joann Nelander

Mysterious Will of God

From Your Cross
You looked upon Man
Your eyes were blinded
By Your Own Blood.
You could not even wipe
That Blood away,
For bound to a Cross,
Your Hands were held fast
To the mysterious Will
Of Your Father.

In Your Bloody Blindness,
You felt the anguish of rejection,
The rejection of Your People,
The rejection of the kings of the Earth,
The rejection of the once adoring crowds,
The rejection of cowardly friends,
Rejection of High Priests of Covenant Old,
And the rejection of disciples,
Destined to proclaim the New,
Alone,
Save for the Mother,
The Beloved Disciple
At her side,
And the repentant Magdalene,
Who knew both Sin
And deliverance at Your Hand.

From Your Cross
Look upon me.
See with Your heart
To forgive my Sin.
Draw me by way
Of the Blood and Water
Flowing from Your Pierced Side.
Wash away my Sin
In that Holy Tide,
That the Mysterious Will
Of Your Father
Give life to yet another son.
Thy will be done.

©2012 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved

Many Veils

Still the many veils
Stand between us.
I know they are the weave
Of my concupiscence,
Hanging over my heart,
Weighing the corners
Of my smile,
Hiding me from You
In my shame.

Must I forgive myself
For being other
Than Your Christ?
My imperfection,
And repeated falls
Spoil my high hopes,
But I find them useful as well,
For the crushing of my pride.

The temptation to reign
In the place of God
Is Satan’s prompt,
And plays persistently,
Appealing in its disguise
As progressive,
And Evolution at its finest.

Unveiled before you
In humility
I see my call to be least,
And allow You to reign
Great in me.

Lord, triumph over vain glory,
Accomplish all
The Father desires for me,
That my baptismal garment
Of purest white
May appear
In all the colors
Of Your Glory,
God resplendent
Even in His smallest work
And humblest creature.

You Chose Me From the Earth

The day has begun,
And, already,
You have embraced
Your wee one.

I greet You
With the opening
Of my eyes,
With thoughts
That stream anew.

My slumber has brought me
To New Day.
The night was spent
In healing, and a continuity,
That like the day
Follows one unto the other,
Within Your sovereign embrace.

My body leaned
Upon You in trust,
To rise refreshed.
Phantoms of the night
Fled as Your Sun
Rose with purple dawn,
For I place my Trust
In You.
You knit me,
Body, soul and spirit,
Into a unity,
I have known
Since You willed me
Into being.
Unity creating one nature,
Sharing in your dual nature
Of God and Man.
Born of God,
In the Holy Spirit,
I am wed to You
And made ready,
Sun on sun,
For Eternity.

Remembering my frame,
And my need,
Stir into flame
Your Godly Presence,
So that the Bridegroom
Of my Soul
May this day
Take to Himself
The bride He won
From the Cross,
And I ,
Dust of the Earth,
May know the sacred bliss
Of having been chosen.
Being chosen,
And living, in the flesh,
The Life of God.

©2012 Joann Nelander

The Words Hung on My Lips.

The words hung on my lips.
I wanted to pray
I wanted to be
In Your Presence.
I wanted to feel
Good again,
To lift myself
Out of myself,
Out of my sorrow.

I looked about me.
The world was on fire.
I could not see.
I could not find one thing
To light my candle.

There was not a breath of air.
I could feel the dark.
It pressed
And weighed
And held me down,
Like trying to run
In a dream,
My efforts went
For naught,
Amidst a paralyzingly fear,
My feet are bound,
Phantoms tying them
To the ground.

I wanted to lift my heart,
So that I could sing again.
Where was the music?
Who could play it for me?
Was I really alone?

You used to play with me.
You used to be with me,
And dance with me,
And sing with me.

I used to stand
With the others,
Raise my hands,
Open my mouth,
And proclaim my love
For You.

Where are You now?
Where have You gone?
Or was it me
Who wondered off,
Who was dragged down,
Who fell
And did not rise?

I remember Your Promise
To forgive.
I need that;
I need that forgiveness.
Give it to me now!

I am still Yours.
You have been seeking me.
I know that.
I didn’t want to know that.
But I always knew that.

Find me now!
Here I am.
Now, I want You.
I want to feel good again.
I want to feel God again,
And I know
You’ll come.

©2012 Joann Nelander

All rights reserved

Crown of Thorns

Crown of Thorns,
Kingship crowned,
Where the diamonds?
Where the gold?
Runlets of Your Mercy
Covering Holy Face.

Crown of Thorns,
Kingship in rejection,
Shining as diamonds,
Pure as gold,
Blood, all holy,
Innocence dying on a Cross,
Satisfying the Father’s desire
For sons and daughters
Made holy in His Christ,
Now by our willing,
And humble assent.

Crown of Thorns,
Glorious Redeemer,
They kingdom come.

© 2012 Joann Nelander